


My Eden

by MamaBirdNerd



Category: Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, written for a prompt on r/lobotomycorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25002964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaBirdNerd/pseuds/MamaBirdNerd
Summary: In a godforsaken place, the risk of love can far outweigh the benefits. But the heart wants what the heart wants.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 12





	My Eden

**Author's Note:**

> Just a one one-off first person drabble about love and loss. Very little editing went into this because I knew I'd chicken out and not post it if I read it again.  
> "You're an agent, who works at Lobotomy Corporation and the employee, you've grown to love dies in the hands of a non-ZAYIN abnormality..."  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/LobotomyCorp/comments/hi445t/youre_an_agent_who_works_at_lobotomy_corporation/

People always tease, saying I’m like a little dog, excitedly waiting for my master to arrive home from work. I used to mind, but I don’t think I do anymore. There’s precious little happiness down here. It’s a waste of energy to be upset, especially when I can smile along. They’re right, after all. If my shift is over first, I sit and wait by the lift for Eden to come up from Records. 

She’s a light. Other people don’t seem to see it, but that may be because they’re afraid of her. She’s been here a long time, and that tends to wear people down– make them build a persona for themselves. I’ll be the first to admit, Eden could break every bone in my body, but she’s a mender, not a breaker. Although the gates are guarded fiercely, the garden inside is far more delicate than anyone would believe. Once she takes off all that EGO gear and lets the mask drop, Eden has the softest smile and eyes so full of loneliness and sorrow. It sends shivers down my spine to think she might reserve that smile for me, when we’re alone. 

I’m waiting for her now, every bit the loyal puppy people call me. I want to talk about what happened the other night. I want to know what we are– what we could be. I’ve been distracted by it all day. Chesed even called me out on it, the absolute bastard. He got the most shit-eating grin on his face when he asked if I needed to take the day off.

“Judgement Bird weighs sins, y’know. You sure you don’t have anything you want to confess to One Sin before you head in~?” 

Oh god. I like Chesed a lot, but I wish smacking him wouldn’t result in disciplinary action. He cares enough to know his agents, but I think he might know too much. It doesn’t matter. I have to keep telling myself that or else I’ll get nervous and run away from this relationship just like I did with all the others. Having feelings about someone isn’t something to be embarrassed about– especially not feelings for Eden. 

My face is so warm right now. A clerk just walked by and he looked worried. Guh. 

Looking at the clock on the wall tells me it’s well past when she’s usually done. Time is weird down in Records, sure, but Eden always seemed to know what time it was as a result. She told me once that it was something that happened to all the employees who worked in Records for long enough. Whatever weird time distortion going on down there didn’t skew their internal clock the same way it did the rest of us. I can’t help but find it amazing how our bodies adapt to things like that. 

So I stand and call the lift myself. Hokma can try to chase me out if he wants. I’m going to find Eden and make sure that old robot isn’t working his employees too hard. I’m a Welfare agent, after all. It’s kind of my job to do that sort of thing, right? Right. If Eden is the garden, I’ll be the guardian welfare agent with the burning sword outside. 

I’m glad no one is around to ask me about the stupid allusion that just made me laugh. 

As soon as I’m out of the elevator, the air feels wrong. Everyone’s glances feel wrong. I know the agents down here well enough to catch the panic that crosses their faces. 

The team captain tears himself away from Hokma and to my side at a breakneck pace. He’s herding me back towards the lift before I can get in a word edgewise, saying that only Record and Disciplinary agents are allowed down here. I’m… not really buying that, considering how little abnormality suppression is going on right now. So I duck around his arms and make my way to the gathered group of agents.

My chest is starting to hurt a bit. It gets worse when Hokma turns his eye on me and sighs like he knew this was coming. Distantly, I think he actually might have. Now none of the agents will meet my eyes. Eden is conspicuously missing from the group. I think I feel my heart still. 

Hokma gestures in the direction of his employee’s break room. No one moves for a second. At least I think it must be a second. People don’t normally stant this still for longer. It feels longer. I don’t know if that’s me or if it’s the time distortion. It doesn’t matter. 

I move to the door fast enough that I feel dizzy, like I stood up too quickly and the blood in my body is taking a minute to catch up. The air tastes metallic over here and numbness washes through my limbs. I’m just barely able to open the door with my hot, clumsy fingers. Of course I know that smell. No one can work at L corp without knowing the smell of blood by heart. It lingers in the nose and on the tongue as the only remainder of the dead. Like it’s their last effort to be remembered. 

Behind the door, there’s not much left of her. I feel lightheaded and remember to breathe. It’s difficult with the way my throat resists and constricts. 

Her face is still in tact. Most of her limbs and almost all of her lower torso are gone. There’s no vicera. The cuts are clean. It bleeds, but what’s left of her gut stays inside of her torso in an unnatural way that all but screams the culprit at me. The other parts of her simply ceased to be, taken in and deleted by the Dimensional Refraction Variant. It had happened to clerks in Welfare during the last breach. 

The clinical way that my mind digests the gore and death in front of me makes me desperately want to vomit. So I make my way to her face, vision tunneling and blurring as I sag to the floor. 

I can’t breathe, oh god– I can’t breathe. And I sob, voice cracking from the strain. I think I sound like an animal, because this isn’t a sound a human makes. 

I’m on my hand and knees, holding her face. I can’t read her expression. There’s no light behind her eyes to tell me what her last thoughts might have been. 

The team captain is behind me again, pulling at my arms, trying to get me out of the blood. He’s saying something, but I can’t hear it. All I can register is his grip. I try to stay put. The ground is slick with blood, and my knees slip out from under me. He’s supporting my deadweight as I choke on my own breath. I don’t really know what I’m saying as I scream at him. Other hands help him right me and pull me out of the room.

They let me slump fully onto the floor in the middle of Records. 

Eden fills my senses, her blood affixing itself on my skin and clothes, choking me with what can only be the last smell I’ll have of her. I hug my legs to my chest. I’m not angry. The Refraction Variant doesn’t have malicious intent. Hurting it wouldn’t make anything better– wouldn’t bring her back. 

My Eden is gone. 

I didn’t realize I said it out loud. All their eyes are on me now. They look uncomfortable. I don’t care. I sit up and fumble for a second, my fingers forgetting how to release the Sword Sharpened with Tears from its hilt on my waist. Maybe it’ll be more effective right now and live up to its name. 

I’m clumsy with it because there’s no good way to do this. My arms aren’t long enough to hold it gracefully when the point is turned on myself. Through the eye is probably my fastest way out. Out is all I want, really. Eden was all I cared about. Her being gone proves that this place truly is godforsaken. I can’t have that either.

It feels like the world itself is crashing down on me, despite knowing that it’s just all four of Hokma’s agents, holding my arms and prying the rapier from my hands. My senses are overwhelmed by touches and smells and people shouting at each other and at me. 

The lift chimes through the din and Hokma and Chesed awkwardly crowd out of the small elevator. Neither say a thing, just make their way over to the scene I’m making, crying and getting Eden’s blood on everyone and everything. 

My Sephirah puts his hand-claw-whatever it is on my head, into my hair, and lets it rest there. I drop limp in the restraint of the other agents now. I don’t care anymore. Chesed knows. I can feel it in his touch. 

I’m going to get benched from duty. Citations of mental corruption levels play through my head.


End file.
